


Stiles Stilinski the Terrible Flirt

by whenshewrites



Series: A Collection of One-Shots and Tumblr Prompts [71]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Awesome Laura Hale, Crack, Derek Hale is Bad at Feelings, Derek Hale is a Little Shit, Derek Hale is a Softie, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Idiots in Love, M/M, One Shot, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Stiles Stilinski is a Little Shit, Stiles Stilinski is a Mess, Stiles Stilinski is a Tease, Stiles is a Bad Flirt, The Hale Pack - Freeform, Tumblr Prompt, but he tries, derek is amused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:53:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24543379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whenshewrites/pseuds/whenshewrites
Summary: Derek doesn't know who the guy is, but he's amusing. And kinda cute.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Vernon Boyd/Erica Reyes
Series: A Collection of One-Shots and Tumblr Prompts [71]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1956889
Comments: 12
Kudos: 575





	Stiles Stilinski the Terrible Flirt

“Just remember, if we get in trouble, you're deaf and I don't speak English.”

“Stiles,” another voice said, sounding nervous. “That’s a terrible idea. You don’t know anything other than English.”

“Yes, Scotty, but if we get into trouble, nobody needs to know that, do they?”

Derek heard the sound of a sigh and curiously moved across the bar, picking up an already clean glass and rubbing at it like he was actually doing his job. Two kids sat on the stools with their backs to him; one with dark floppy hair and one with shorter brown hair and nervous fingers tapping against the bar counter. 

Moving behind them, Derek cleared his throat. They both spun around and the paler one startled with a squawk, nearly tumbling off of his seat. His friend reached out and steadied him at the last moment.

“Can I get you two anything?” Derek said, studying both their faces. The paler one leaned forward with a small grin, amber eyes dancing.

“Two rum and cokes, please.”

“ID?”

The boy with the floppy hair made a sharp noise in the back of his throat. The other kid elbowed him and grinned at Derek again, before pulling out his wallet. Derek took the ID handed to him and studied it, before raising a brow.

“What the hell kind of name is that?”

“Hey, dude!” The kid protested, looking offended. “You can’t go around saying things like that. So not cool!”

“It’s Stiles,” the other boy said, nervously slipping his ID over the counter too. “We call him Stiles.”

“What the hell kind of name is Stiles?”

“It’s my name, asshole,” Stiles said, glaring. Derek huffed and looked from his ID to his friend’s— Scott McCall— and then pushed them both back. 

“There’s no way you two are twenty-one.”

“Excuse me!” Stiles said, flailing a little. “The ID says it, does it not?”

“Clearly, it’s a fake.”

“I’ll have you know I am only a few months away from being twenty-one,” Stiles said, with a whiny note in his voice. “And it doesn’t make sense that I’m old enough to vote and live on my own, but not drink. Can’t you be a pal and overlook things just this once?”

“Two cokes,” Derek said, undeterred. “Coming right up.”

“You’re a terrible person.”

Derek ignored him and turned away, grabbing two glasses and two cans of soda. He couldn’t deny that he’d been half-tempted to give the kid a break, but if Laura found out she would have his hide. And that’s the last thing Derek needed.

Scott wasn’t paying any attention when Derek slid the two drinks over, but Stiles was watching his face. The kid had a mischievous glint in his eyes that made Derek nervous, and an uptick to his lips that made his stomach flip. Stiles leaned forward, ignoring his drink, and rested his chin on his palms.

“So, what’s a fine gentleman like you doing in a place like this?”

“I work here.”

“Well, clearly,” Stiles said, snorting. “But come on, dude, you’re too pretty to be working in a club like this. Those eyebrows were made for the billboards.”

“My eyebrows.”

“Very sexy,” Stiles said, nodding. “Ten out of ten. You kind of look like you could tear me apart with your bare hands and I don’t think that should be such a turn on.”

Derek rolled his eyes, unable to help it. This guy was something else. “You’re ridiculous.”

“No, I’m Stiles. And you are?”

Derek stared at him for a moment. Then he grunted and turned away, and Stiles made a noise like a dying cat. 

“Wait, dude, I’m sorry! No more dad jokes, I swear. I’ll be good.”

Slowly, Derek turned back around. The mischievous gleam had left Stiles’s eyes and he offered out a hand, fingers wiggling through the air. 

“My full name is Mieczysław. But most people call me Stiles because that’s all they can really manage.”

“Mie— whatever— sounds nothing like Stiles.”

“Yes, but Stiles is fun to say, right?”

Derek sighed and took his hand, feeling a little ridiculous. “I’m Derek.”

“Derek  _ Hale?” _

“Yes,” Derek said, narrowing his eyes. “What of it?”

“Dude, your sister owns this palace! I basically just called it a dump, how have you not kicked me out already?”

“I’m tempted,” Derek said. “Would you like me to?”

“You know, I’m gonna pass, thanks.”

Derek smothered the urge to chuckle. For some reason, he didn’t feel the urge to give the kid the boot. Instead, he was kind of hoping Erica or Boyd would come relieve him of his shift already so he could sit down and have an actual conversation.

Which was stupid. Of course.

“So, Derek,” Stiles said, putting extra emphasis on his name. “I have no doubts you have people hitting on you twenty-four-seven due to the—” Stiles gestured through the air and then pointed at his face. “Eyebrows. But if I went on a limb out here and asked for a number, would I be successful?”

“Probably not, but you could try anyway.”

“Playing hard to get,” Stiles said, grinning. He was confident in a way that made Derek feel impressed instead of annoyed. It was… annoying. Or something. “I like that. Should I use a cliche pickup line or just flat out ask?”

Derek only smirked. Stiles’s grin widened and he thought for a moment.

“I bet my number sounds nicer than yours,” he said after a few seconds. “Want to hear it?”

“That was terrible.”

“Okay, then. Give me your number, so we can rant to each other during GOT.”

“Seriously?”

“If you give me your number,” Stiles said with a wink. “I promise to spam you with pictures of cute puppies on a daily basis.”

“That was a little better,” Derek said. “But still terrible.”

“Yeah, well if you think I’m terrible at flirting now, just wait until you flirt with me over the phone.”

He was relentless, Derek had to give him that. He nearly considered making Stiles come up with some stupid pickup lines a little more, simply because he was enjoying him trying, when a hand touched him on the shoulder. Derek jumped and spun around.

“Oh shit,” Laura said, a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. “I don’t think I’ve ever snuck up on you before, Der. Having a nice conversation?”

“Der?” Stiles said, his eyes lighting up. “Oh my god, that’s adorable!”

“Shut up,” Derek said, glaring at his sister. “Laura, what are you doing? Aren’t Erica and Boyd on shift tonight?”

“I could tell you were having fun,” Laura said. “So I gave them an extra thirty minutes. You know what they like to get down to in thirty minutes.”

“That’s so gross, please never speak to me again.”

“Hm,” Laura said, looking over at Stiles. She offered a hand, which he took with a bright smile. “You’re cute, kid. But clearly not twenty-one.”

“Why does everyone keep saying that? I could be!”

“Not dressed like that, you’re not.”

Stiles looked down at himself; his plaid t-shirt and baggy jeans. His face colored red and he shrugged, looking back up. “I’m getting there.”

“Then maybe I’ll second guess kicking you out.”

“That would be very much appreciated,” Stiles said with a grin. “Though  _ Der  _ here tried that line too.”

“Oh,” Laura said, turning back around. “Did he?”

Derek rolled his eyes. Before he could say a word, though, Stiles’s phone was blaring and the kid cursed, fishing it out of his pocket. He looked at the screen, then sighed, flipping it off. 

“I’ve gotta go,” he said, turning to his friend. “Scotty, you still with me?”

Scott looked like he’d spent the entire time staring across the club. Derek followed his gaze to see a brown-haired girl dancing with a red-haired girl, completely oblivious to her admirer. Scott’s face was colored pink when he nodded. “We leaving?”

“Dad gets home in fifteen and if I’m not around to make dinner, you know he’ll order a pizza. Or worse, two.”

Derek was surprised to feel a sudden rush of disappointment at hearing that. He couldn’t believe he actually enjoyed talking to Stiles. The guy was annoying as hell, but amusing too. And Derek didn’t actually hate all of his pickup lines.

Stiles thought his eyebrows were sexy.

Shaking his head, Derek turned around and busied himself in cleaning the opposite counter. He could feel Stiles’s eyes on him and for a second, he thought the guy would say something. But then Scott said something Derek didn’t catch and Stiles started away.

Derek glared at the floor.

“Nice,” Laura said, patting him on the shoulder. “You almost had him there, little bro.”

“Shut up,” Derek said, shrugging her off. “Tell Boyd and Erica it’s my turn for a break, would you? And I’m not going into the break room until it’s been thoroughly sanitized.”

Laura only chuckled and started away. Derek glared at nothing for a second longer, before turning around to clean up the glasses Scott and Stiles had left.

Except, there was a napkin left too. One with the worst handwriting Derek had ever seen, reading;  _ “I like your face, Sourpuss. Text me?” _

Underneath was a number. Derek shook his head and huffed, but tucked the napkin into his pocket. No one would ever know if he was smiling slightly at that, or if he searched the club one more time looking for an idiot in plaid.

So maybe Stiles was the stupidest name Derek had ever heard. But the kid was a good flirt.

And he thought Derek’s eyebrows were sexy.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the Tumblr prompt; "If we get in trouble, you're deaf and I don't speak English' and somehow, it became and AU. But I had fun! I hope you all enjoyed and like always, the comments/support you guys leave makes my day. Stay safe out there! Or come send me some prompts on Tumblr.
> 
> [Tumblr](https://when-she-writes-stuff.tumblr.com/)


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